“Girl, I can’t believe you’re still single. I should totally set you up with one of my friends!”I have heard this more than once. My friends who are in romantic relationships sometimes pity my solitary state and try to “fix it” by matching me up with someone.The funny thing is, I rarely feel sad about my lack of boyfriend/fiancé/husband. Sure, I would love to get married. I definitely feel lonely at times and the small hopes I’ve had in ... Read More about the real reason it’s hard being single
Friendship
How to Overcome the Wedding Band Divide
I'm doing a great job keeping up with her, I patted myself on the back as I drove home from school one day.Balancing life as a wife, a new mom, and a graduate student was challenging, yet I still managed to squeeze in a lunch date with one of my closest friends, who at the time, was a few years away from a family of her own.With my sense of good friendship maintenance, imagine my shock to find a note expressing her disappointment when I ... Read More about How to Overcome the Wedding Band Divide
How to Find the Connection You Crave in Your Friendships
It’s embarrassing to admit it but somehow I have reached my mid thirties and still am not exactly sure how to crack the code of creating authentic, especially local, friendships. No matter how I try, I feel perpetually floundering when it comes to making friends as an adult. Even though my introverted self would have denied it back then, making friends really did feel much less complicated as a child.But one of the things I crave the most as ... Read More about How to Find the Connection You Crave in Your Friendships
What To Do When You Can’t Find Friends
One of the strongest friendships in my life is the most unorthodox. It’s the one where we’ve rarely had a real-time conversation. Instead, we swap voicemails--these detailed, emotive, startlingly-honest monologues--and we have for nine years now. Currently, we live 3,065 miles (i.e. one very expensive airline ticket) apart. This is also one of the deepest, safest relationships I’ve ever experienced, and I never would have imagined it.Another ... Read More about What To Do When You Can’t Find Friends
the power of sisterhood: together we can defeat armies
by Anika Ryan Ortiz I signed up for a women’s retreat for our church, and the nerves of my introverted side made me anxious for the weekend. After I arrived and settled in the Southern California mountain retreat, the rhythm of the weekend allowed for depth and friendships to form.On the final night of the retreat, the speaker shared the value of vulnerability in community, organically leading to beautiful moments with six new friends that ... Read More about the power of sisterhood: together we can defeat armies
How to Nourish True Friendship with Others
I stare at her text.“I felt like you were dismissive and controlling. . .”It’s like the phone burns my hand. I put it down and gaze out the window, willing myself not to cry, trying to gather my thoughts.In following one friend’s advice, I inadvertently offended two others. And quickly clouding my sense of how I should respond and what to do next, shame swirls in.I’m no good at this friendship thing. I don’t know how to do this. I ... Read More about How to Nourish True Friendship with Others
How to Keep Long-Distance Friendships Strong
On a sunny Friday in October, I sat in my friend's hallway and helped her pack up her husband's office. We chatted as we have on countless other Fridays about love and marriage, children and parenting, faith and loss.Neither of us wanted to dwell overlong on the fact that this would be our last Friday together, at least in this house. In a few days, the possessions we packed would be stacked in boxes lining her driveway. Within the week she, ... Read More about How to Keep Long-Distance Friendships Strong
How to Cultivate Trust in Friendships
by Elizabeth Grace Saunders “Elizabeth, I trust that you’ll make a good decision,” said my friend as we tromped through the woods on a long hike where we had been discussing a difficult situation I was in at the time. Not only was the decision tricky but also it involved a personally emotionally charged issue from my friend’s past.Instead of telling me what I should do, recommending five books for me to read, and then praying for me in ... Read More about How to Cultivate Trust in Friendships
Jane Austen and Friendships in Literature (an interview with Katherine Reay)
Female friendships can be difficult to navigate as much as they are beneficial to the soul. Grace and patience are required in abundance. (But that’s true for any type of relationship, right?!) Reading about friendships provides a unique opportunity to mold and reform your own behavior using a perspective a little further removed from your own circumstances. If that book were to include a dream vacation to Bath, England at a centuries old estate ... Read More about Jane Austen and Friendships in Literature (an interview with Katherine Reay)
Speak Forth
Speak to me inside of her. That was the word the Lord whispered into my heart the day I hit my knees in prayer for a friend.I had struggled in our relationship. We were in a Bible study together and it seemed that no matter how I tried to encourage her in her walk with the Lord, my words were either received as judgmental or legalistic. Where the tension was coming from, I didn’t really know, but what was certain is that I cared about her ... Read More about Speak Forth
How to Speak Life and Truth into the Hard Moments
I had spent too long in front of the mirror that Sunday morning. After swapping with a friend a bag of clothes we no longer wanted, I had a new-to-me lacy top to wear to church. That Sunday morning also happened to be one of those first indecisive spring days: the morning began with a chill in the air, but my weather app promised it would be balmy by noon. So my new shirt was perfect for the weather. Still, for some reason, I felt self-conscious ... Read More about How to Speak Life and Truth into the Hard Moments
Words That Wound
I had been called many things, but "traitor" had never been one of them. Until that day at the orphanage in Haiti when those hurting children took their anger out on me. I crawled crying into my parents' bed that night and I remember them saying, "They probably don't even know what that means." And I told them that it hadn't been in English. They told me in their own tongue.I had never been called a "know-it-all" until that day at the coffee ... Read More about Words That Wound
