“Well they must be dumb.” The young, thin postal worker’s eyes bulge a little in the light of his computer screen. “They tried to send your letter to...Nebraska.” He turns again to me, lips pursed. “Aha,” I say, eyebrows raised. “Well, that’s not even close to Germany!” “Right?” We both laugh. My letter will be outdated by the time it arrives in Heidelberg, by the time my friend opens it and reads it. Even now I’m ... Read More about The Ministry of Letter-Writing
Friendship
How to Adopt Grandparents for Christmas
“Christmas gift, give it to me!” That’s how my grandfather would greet us at the front door on Christmas Day every year. I remember him sometimes having a bell, but always wearing a smile. We’d walk in past the columns on the front porch that he so proudly wrapped with red ribbon to look like candy canes, exactly eleven inches between each stripe. Mema was in the kitchen, but she would stop working on the biscuits to hug our necks. I remember ... Read More about How to Adopt Grandparents for Christmas
How to Respond to Correction from Other Believers
I was confronted not long ago by a fellow Believer. She questioned my actions in a situation and then gave me Scripture references to back up her words. She wasn’t mean, or spiteful in any way, but of course it still hurt. This wasn’t the first time this has happened. In fact, over the course of my life as a Christian there have been multiple times when I have been confronted. It’s a good thing, one of the best parts of being in community, ... Read More about How to Respond to Correction from Other Believers
the real reason it’s hard being single
“Girl, I can’t believe you’re still single. I should totally set you up with one of my friends!” I have heard this more than once. My friends who are in romantic relationships sometimes pity my solitary state and try to “fix it” by matching me up with someone. The funny thing is, I rarely feel sad about my lack of boyfriend/fiancé/husband. Sure, I would love to get married. I definitely feel lonely at times and the small hopes I’ve had in ... Read More about the real reason it’s hard being single
How to Overcome the Wedding Band Divide
I'm doing a great job keeping up with her, I patted myself on the back as I drove home from school one day. Balancing life as a wife, a new mom, and a graduate student was challenging, yet I still managed to squeeze in a lunch date with one of my closest friends, who at the time, was a few years away from a family of her own. With my sense of good friendship maintenance, imagine my shock to find a note expressing her disappointment when I ... Read More about How to Overcome the Wedding Band Divide
How to Find the Connection You Crave in Your Friendships
It’s embarrassing to admit it but somehow I have reached my mid thirties and still am not exactly sure how to crack the code of creating authentic, especially local, friendships. No matter how I try, I feel perpetually floundering when it comes to making friends as an adult. Even though my introverted self would have denied it back then, making friends really did feel much less complicated as a child. But one of the things I crave the most as ... Read More about How to Find the Connection You Crave in Your Friendships
What To Do When You Can’t Find Friends
One of the strongest friendships in my life is the most unorthodox. It’s the one where we’ve rarely had a real-time conversation. Instead, we swap voicemails--these detailed, emotive, startlingly-honest monologues--and we have for nine years now. Currently, we live 3,065 miles (i.e. one very expensive airline ticket) apart. This is also one of the deepest, safest relationships I’ve ever experienced, and I never would have imagined it. Another ... Read More about What To Do When You Can’t Find Friends
the power of sisterhood: together we can defeat armies
by Anika Ryan Ortiz I signed up for a women’s retreat for our church, and the nerves of my introverted side made me anxious for the weekend. After I arrived and settled in the Southern California mountain retreat, the rhythm of the weekend allowed for depth and friendships to form. On the final night of the retreat, the speaker shared the value of vulnerability in community, organically leading to beautiful moments with six new friends that ... Read More about the power of sisterhood: together we can defeat armies
How to Nourish True Friendship with Others
I stare at her text. “I felt like you were dismissive and controlling. . .” It’s like the phone burns my hand. I put it down and gaze out the window, willing myself not to cry, trying to gather my thoughts. In following one friend’s advice, I inadvertently offended two others. And quickly clouding my sense of how I should respond and what to do next, shame swirls in. I’m no good at this friendship thing. I don’t know how to do this. I ... Read More about How to Nourish True Friendship with Others
How to Keep Long-Distance Friendships Strong
On a sunny Friday in October, I sat in my friend's hallway and helped her pack up her husband's office. We chatted as we have on countless other Fridays about love and marriage, children and parenting, faith and loss. Neither of us wanted to dwell overlong on the fact that this would be our last Friday together, at least in this house. In a few days, the possessions we packed would be stacked in boxes lining her driveway. Within the week she, ... Read More about How to Keep Long-Distance Friendships Strong
How to Cultivate Trust in Friendships
by Elizabeth Grace Saunders “Elizabeth, I trust that you’ll make a good decision,” said my friend as we tromped through the woods on a long hike where we had been discussing a difficult situation I was in at the time. Not only was the decision tricky but also it involved a personally emotionally charged issue from my friend’s past. Instead of telling me what I should do, recommending five books for me to read, and then praying for me in ... Read More about How to Cultivate Trust in Friendships
Jane Austen and Friendships in Literature (an interview with Katherine Reay)
Female friendships can be difficult to navigate as much as they are beneficial to the soul. Grace and patience are required in abundance. (But that’s true for any type of relationship, right?!) Reading about friendships provides a unique opportunity to mold and reform your own behavior using a perspective a little further removed from your own circumstances. If that book were to include a dream vacation to Bath, England at a centuries old estate ... Read More about Jane Austen and Friendships in Literature (an interview with Katherine Reay)
