Natasha Metzler 6 Minute Read When my husband and I decided to pursue older child adoption, I committed myself to studying about trauma. There are many types and effects of traumatic circumstances, but one of the hardest to recover from (in my opinion) is trauma that results in lost relationships. Our bodies were created to stay connected with those closest…
Natasha Metzler 4 Minute Read I’m not sure how old I was when I picked up my first Elisabeth Elliot book. Twelve? Thirteen? I had read a children’s biography of Amy Carmichael, so when I saw Elisabeth Elliot’s A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael, I was intrigued. I’m not sure I understood much of the…
Natasha Metzler 4 Minute Read I still remember the doctor looking at me over the top of her glasses. “What this means,” she explained, “is that it is very probable you will never bear children.” And something inside me just withered up and died right there. I stumbled through weeks, then months, and then years before I finally started breathing…
Natasha Metzler 5 Minute Read I’m sitting here at four in the morning writing you this letter. My two month old got sick and threw up all over my side of the bed. I’m now on the couch, with a towel on the floor beside me in case she has another round. I’m in a medium amount of pain because…
Natasha Metzler 7 Minute Read I was confronted not long ago by a fellow Believer. She questioned my actions in a situation and then gave me Scripture references to back up her words. She wasn’t mean, or spiteful in any way, but of course it still hurt. This wasn’t the first time this has happened. In fact, over the course…
Natasha Metzler 5 Minute Read I read too much. Don’t misunderstand—reading is powerful and beautiful and a gift that I am so thankful for, I don’t even have words to explain it. But I still read too much at times. I know this because two years ago, I was reading everything I could get my hands on about parenting. We…
Natasha Metzler 5 Minute Read After many years of infertility, my husband and I finally brought home a daughter. She was eight years old, adorable, precious, and…extroverted. A few months went by without any issues because, hello! I had a daughter. Of course she can talk to me nonstop, of course she can be attached to my side 24-7, of…
Natasha Metzler 7 Minute Read A few days after my husband proposed to me, we walked his farm and talked about the future. At one point we stood together, looking across the backfield, and he said quietly, “I had pretty much decided that I would never get to share this with anyone. I can’t wait to come home to you…
Natasha Metzler 4 Minute Read It was somewhere around my third anniversary that reality hit hard enough to make me gasp for breath. I really couldn’t have babies. Not without a miracle. I had so many dreams that involved motherhood and they all crumbled around me. I found myself standing there with dying dreams and agony ripping my heart to…
Natasha Metzler 7 Minute Read The year I turned twelve years old we moved into the upstairs of my grandparent’s house in Northern New York. Until this point my family had been living in far off Homer, Alaska where my father taught at a Bible School. Our interactions with my mom’s parents included a handful of visits, many phone calls,…
Natasha Metzler 6 Minute Read There is clipboard in my desk that is heavy with papers. Pages and pages of copied handwritten notes. The handwriting is my beautiful 91 year old grandmother’s, but the story those pages tell isn’t really hers. It’s the story of my grandpa, how he met Jesus in the barnyard one day and his life was…
Natasha Metzler 4 Minute Read Our son came home on a rainy November day. Instead of a hospital room, we gathered him to us from an airport waiting area. We knelt and talked to him by the luggage carousel and bonded over dinner at Cracker Barrel. My heart cracked with the glory of the Lord’s redemption in my life. While…
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The End.