When my husband and I decided to pursue older child adoption, I committed myself to studying about trauma. There are many types and effects of traumatic circumstances, but one of the hardest to recover from (in my opinion) is trauma that results in lost relationships. Our bodies were created to stay connected with those closest to us. When trauma causes the loss of those relationships, it can cause serious ramifications in our ... Read More about Broken Relationships and the God Who Heals
Family
How to Grow a Close-Knit Family
by Susan Alexander Yates Do you want to develop a close-knit family? Do you long to have close relationships with your extended family members, improve communication between parents and grandparents, and develop friendships with those who live far away? Most of us want these things, but often we don’t know how to “get there.” And too often we tell ourselves, My family is a mess. My home of origin was strange. My kids fight, my marriage is ... Read More about How to Grow a Close-Knit Family
How to Adopt Grandparents for Christmas
“Christmas gift, give it to me!” That’s how my grandfather would greet us at the front door on Christmas Day every year. I remember him sometimes having a bell, but always wearing a smile. We’d walk in past the columns on the front porch that he so proudly wrapped with red ribbon to look like candy canes, exactly eleven inches between each stripe. Mema was in the kitchen, but she would stop working on the biscuits to hug our necks. I remember ... Read More about How to Adopt Grandparents for Christmas
When Queens Collide: How to Become a More Gracious Mother-in-Law
I had four sweet baby boys at my knees and around my kitchen table. I blinked and now half of them are husbands and fathers. I have become a mother-in-law. This once testosterone-dominated family of mine is now balanced with some much-needed estrogen, thanks to my beloved daughters-in-love. But this infusion of estrogen disrupted the formerly sole female voice--mine. These young women were entrusted with the keys to my sons’ hearts. But I used ... Read More about When Queens Collide: How to Become a More Gracious Mother-in-Law
Redefining the Dreaded Mother-in-Law Stereotype
“I’d like prayer for my relationship with my mother-in-law.” I shot a glance at the woman who’d asked and fought the churning in my stomach. Five… four… three… I doubt I made it past three before the first outburst came. I can’t remember any specific comments, but I recall the turmoil I felt when I heard the snide, ugly tones of the others as they vilified their mothers-in-law. Not even the oldest woman there--who was a mother-in-law ... Read More about Redefining the Dreaded Mother-in-Law Stereotype
hope for your marriage when you have a difficult mother-in-law
by Nel Stephenson Did I ruin my life? It’s a demonic thought, really, but one that gripped my mind in the first few years of my marriage. I had a thorn in my flesh—a problem of portions larger and greater than I could have imagined. I had a mother-in-law conflict. The situation I walked through is the most painful trial I have ever faced. The self blame I felt was due to seeing the red flags of pending conflict while my husband and I ... Read More about hope for your marriage when you have a difficult mother-in-law
How to Honor Your Husband’s Mother
There is often a special bond between a mother and a son, so when the “other” woman walks onto the scene, there can be a lot of unforeseen emotions for both of them. The daughter-in-law/wife may feel like she cannot measure up or be as important to her husband and because of that bond between him and his mom, she can feel like she has to compete. Mom may feel like she’s lost a certain dynamic in her relationship with her son that she has always ... Read More about How to Honor Your Husband’s Mother
When Your Mother-in-Law Rejects You
It’s been more than 27 years since I received the letter from my future mother-in-law that almost severed all ties of friendship and family before they had a chance to grow. I sat on my bed, looking out the open window at the beauty of the setting sun, listening to singing birds mocking me as the door of hope of a friendship with my future mother-in-law dashed, like a door slammed in my face. The beauty and joy of knowing the woman who had raised ... Read More about When Your Mother-in-Law Rejects You
How to Live in Peace with Your In-Laws
She came fluttering into my personal space, squealing like she’d made the best thrift store find in a decade. “I’m so glad to meet you! I have the perfect man for you! He’s right over there, see? And very handsome, I must say. “But you know the best part about him?” she added. “His parents are dead, so no in-laws!” She squealed again and hugged me. Have I mentioned that I’d never met this woman before? Yeah, I wasn’t impressed. But ... Read More about How to Live in Peace with Your In-Laws
She Laughed at the Days to Come
One of my earliest memories of my mother is an image of her doing many things at once. She would rock my baby sister to sleep while giving me instructions (in song) on folding socks. I realize now that she was soothing, singing, rocking, supervising, entertaining and teaching all in that one moment, and I can still hear her voice crooning something like, "Those socks are Daddy's, that sock is Joey's" to the tune of "Lavender's Blue." Today I ... Read More about She Laughed at the Days to Come
In Which a Story About a Bear Tells a Story About Legacy
Pooh Bear and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. At the mere mention of his name, my heart launches into song… Winnie the Pooh (Pooh!) . . . Winnie the Pooh (Pooh!) . . . Tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff… (Yours too?) We were first introduced through Disney Channel’s Welcome to Pooh Corner at my grandparents’ house, cousins all gathered together for a rare and special television treat. As I got a little ... Read More about In Which a Story About a Bear Tells a Story About Legacy
Writing God’s Presence Into Our Family History
There is clipboard in my desk that is heavy with papers. Pages and pages of copied handwritten notes. The handwriting is my beautiful 91 year old grandmother’s, but the story those pages tell isn’t really hers. It’s the story of my grandpa, how he met Jesus in the barnyard one day and his life was transformed from someone who knew about God to a man who intimately knew the Father. The notes aren’t really in chronological order, and ... Read More about Writing God’s Presence Into Our Family History
