This will be our eighth Christmas without him.My grandfather was a man of few words. The adjective "quiet" fit him to a T. Still, he was there for everything. Impromptu dinners, horse-riding competitions, graduations, and especially Christmas. There's just something about sitting on the couch ... read more
When All You Want for Christmas is a Baby
by Anonymous Ever since we got married, I dreamed of Christmas with children.I love Christmas. Always have. Partly because my parents always labored to protect us from materialism by focusing less on the presents beneath the tree and more on stuffing the season with traditions like trimming the ... read more
Why have you forsaken me?
“Why would you let this happen?”“Don’t you care about me?”“Why didn’t you save my baby?”In the wake of miscarriage we’re pummeled with questions—questions about the biology of reproduction, about our bodies, about medical procedures which may be required, as well as questions about how ... read more
The God Who Breathes Life into Dry Bones
It was somewhere around my third anniversary that reality hit hard enough to make me gasp for breath. I really couldn’t have babies. Not without a miracle.I had so many dreams that involved motherhood and they all crumbled around me. I found myself standing there with dying dreams and agony ... read more
I will show up to Heaven like this.
She thought she'd get to keep her.Katie Davis, a missionary in Uganda and founder of Amazima Ministries, has adopted 13 daughters, but once she had 14.At 17 years old, Katie moved from a suburb in Nashville, Tennessee all the way to Uganda to teach kindergarten. Why move halfway across the ... read more
Diligent Faith Amidst Loss
by Anika Ryan Ortiz The serrated knife in my shaking hand cuts through the heart of the pear while a ringing trumpet blasts downstairs, singing songs of Christmas. Hope. Joy. Peace. Love. I can't help but feel as if the knife is piercing deep into the recesses of my heart. My hero, Grandpa Ted, ... read more
When You’re Constantly Living in Fear of Loss
I’d always viewed myself as a real, Americana, “Rosie the Riveter” kind of gal. Courageous, innovative, perseverant, optimistic, patriotic. Adaptable to whatever life threw my way. Comfortable in a wide variety of roles, adept at switching between them.I hike, I bake, I can eyeball weather ... read more
how to look at loss when fear strangles
At noon on a hot July Friday, my husband, Devin, and I both had routine appointments scheduled with our dentist. After my appointment was concluded, I stood up from the dental chair with cleaned teeth and a clean bill of health. The dental assistant led me to the chair where Devin was still ... read more
Understanding Miscarriage and Infant Loss
by Pam Vredevelt Miscarriage. Stillbirth. Infant death.They all rock your world.I'll never forget hearing these words from my doctor:"I'm not picking up a heartbeat, Pam. There doesn't appear to be any fetal movement. I think the baby is dead."In disbelief, my emotions began to ... read more
3 Truths for the Mom Who Has Had a Miscarriage
by Ashleigh Slater Our fourth baby was due in late October.By the time this fall due date arrived, though, my husband Ted and I had already said goodbye to our preborn child, without ever saying hello first.It happened in my tenth week of pregnancy. After a Doppler failed to detect a ... read more
