I had spent too long in front of the mirror that Sunday morning. After swapping with a friend a bag of clothes we no longer wanted, I had a new-to-me lacy top to wear to church. That Sunday morning also happened to be one of those first indecisive spring days: the morning began with a chill in the air, but my weather app promised it would be balmy by noon. So my new shirt was perfect for the weather. Still, for some reason, I felt self-conscious ... Read More about How to Speak Life and Truth into the Hard Moments
Friendship
Words That Wound
I had been called many things, but "traitor" had never been one of them. Until that day at the orphanage in Haiti when those hurting children took their anger out on me. I crawled crying into my parents' bed that night and I remember them saying, "They probably don't even know what that means." And I told them that it hadn't been in English. They told me in their own tongue. I had never been called a "know-it-all" until that day at the coffee ... Read More about Words That Wound
When You’ve Been the Mean Girl
“Who does she think she is?” “I don’t know, but she definitely tries too hard.” “I mean, I can’t believe she is after him. Like she has a chance with him.” “I know, right? It’s painful to watch.” It was an innocent enough scene, teenage girls lying in their bunks at a summer break retreat, examining their nails and flipping their ponytails and whispering and giggling to each other conspiratorially. But they spread their words ... Read More about When You’ve Been the Mean Girl
5 things I want to teach my daughters about friendship
“Mommy, those girls wouldn’t let me play with them today.” I heard the voice of my little four-year-old cutting through my thoughts, wistful and clear. “Oh?” I asked. “What do you mean they wouldn’t let you play?” “They just didn’t want to play with me.” My heart caught in my chest as I felt that familiar sting. Rejection is never a pleasant feeling, but it multiplies when it happens to your loved ones. I took time to focus my ... Read More about 5 things I want to teach my daughters about friendship
Where are the Spiritual Mothers? A Titus 2 Vision for Friendship
"I just need some help." This wasn't the first time total and utter exhaustion had settled in. Being pregnant with number three made for many challenges while chasing a toddler and spending countless hours on the city bus getting my bigger one to school. "Can you call someone to come over?" my husband asked. My mind went blank. All of my close friends were in the trenches, just like me. Besides that, as much as an extra set of hands ... Read More about Where are the Spiritual Mothers? A Titus 2 Vision for Friendship
Does Love = Worry?
Have you ever accidentally overheard a segment of a conversation which sounded important and, upon inquiry, been told "not to worry about it"? If you're like me, the first thing you're going to do is completely disregard their command. How can you not worry about something that's obviously being kept from you for a reason? Worrying comes as naturally to many of us as sleeping and eating. As a matter of fact, there are seasons when worrying ... Read More about Does Love = Worry?
Depression: How to Help
In a room of 45 ladies, we counted off 1 through 5 nine times and every fifth person stood up. I stood up. I stood up and looked around the room, marveling at the statistic that 20% of the women in that room have battled mental illness or are battling mental illness. I am that 20%. I am the statistic. My battle with mental illness is a relatively mild story compared to many, but it’s my story. It has been a painful journey, it’s been ... Read More about Depression: How to Help
7 Tips for Handling Gossip and Slander
"She said what about me?!" I thought I was accustomed to hearing criticism and negativity against me. But lately, I've been learning a whole new level of relying on God for patience. I've also discovered that there's a big difference between someone criticizing you directly and someone gossiping about you or slandering you behind your back. There is a time and place to speak of others, either negatively or positively. Sometimes things ... Read More about 7 Tips for Handling Gossip and Slander
Around the World in 80 Kitchens
Once upon a time, I was a skinny blonde seven-year-old, learning to make cookies in a ranch-style home in California. I left the actual baking to my mamma: a mysterious process that involved way too much heat for me. And that was my very first kitchen, a place that has since become my natural habitat. Seriously: for the last five years, you could find me in my office -- at a white-painted kitchen table. There I would write or edit, or carry on ... Read More about Around the World in 80 Kitchens
The Beauty of Silence
My three best friends are wildly different from each other. They have different lifestyles and personalities. Their relationships with me are built on unique-to-us experiences. There is one major thing that all of them have in common, though. None of them are afraid of silence. One will sit on the couch and listen to music with me, sometimes for hours at a time, without us saying a word to each other. One of them will wear her headset and ... Read More about The Beauty of Silence
When You Need to Say, “Break Up With Him!”
You can see the problems in your friend's relationship, and maybe you want to scream "Break up with him already!" But what do you do? I was on the opposite side of this question once, when a close friend spoke honestly to me about the red flags she could see in a long-term-going-nowhere relationship. It took courage for her to share her concerns, because such discussion don't usually result in a response of, "Yeah… you're right." Here are a few ... Read More about When You Need to Say, “Break Up With Him!”
Hope Gave Me Courage
We could hear the engine from our driveway. The big yellow school bus was headed towards our house. I remember standing there, watching it come closer. Though we had talked through getting on the bus many times, fear was taking over. I don't want to do this! It stopped. My mom and dad were both holding my hands. We walked up to the bus. I saw kindness in the driver's eyes, but still, I was too afraid to take on that first step. It was ... Read More about Hope Gave Me Courage
