At several key points in my life, a book has come along just when I needed it. In the last few months, there have been two: my friend Natasha Metzler's Emma and the Reasons, and Kingdom Single by Tony Evans. Some books tell you that singleness is valuable, a gift even: these books helped me to feel it. Having lived 18 years past the age at which I originally hoped to be married, I've had plenty of time to read, write, and discuss the topic of ... Read More about when you don’t feel like singleness is a gift
Identity
How to View Your Sexuality as a Single Woman
Sex. If you grew up in a conservative Christian home, you may not have discussed this much – if at all. For many women raised in the church, sexuality is a topic reserved for engagement and beyond. Prior to marriage, it may be discussed in a one-time “talk” focusing on biology and basics, but not much more. Christianity has a history of uncertainty regarding sexual discussion. We aren’t sure how to talk about it, so we don’t talk about it ... Read More about How to View Your Sexuality as a Single Woman
how to nourish your soul as a busy woman
There was never enough time for me to get from martial arts on one side of town to dance on the other. Uniforms and bags, children bickering, static on the radio, a one-year-old strapped into the car seat none too happy to be along for the ride. I was already tired from classroom teaching that afternoon, and regretted filling my Thursdays so full. We were in the middle of a difficult foster care case, and any emotional reserves I may have had ... Read More about how to nourish your soul as a busy woman
You Are Not Too Busy
My mom tells the story of her college days, when she held a part-time job, managed a full class load, had a fulfilling social life, participated in extracurricular activities, turned all her assignments in on time, and maintained a decent GPA. Her classmates who didn't have a job or extracurricular activities complained about not having enough time and struggled to get their work done well, she said. "Busy people get a lot done," she has told ... Read More about You Are Not Too Busy
Speak Forth
Speak to me inside of her. That was the word the Lord whispered into my heart the day I hit my knees in prayer for a friend. I had struggled in our relationship. We were in a Bible study together and it seemed that no matter how I tried to encourage her in her walk with the Lord, my words were either received as judgmental or legalistic. Where the tension was coming from, I didn’t really know, but what was certain is that I cared about her ... Read More about Speak Forth
Do You Know Who You Really Are?
I don’t remember every word they said; I just remember the way I felt. I was a young teen. I’m not even sure how old. Maybe fifteen? We were at a church function, perhaps just a Sunday service. I was alone in the bathroom and when I stepped out I heard two voices talking. For a long time I thought it was just because I heard my name that I stopped, but of course that wouldn’t make sense. If I just heard my name, I would have continued around ... Read More about Do You Know Who You Really Are?
How to Find Soul-Deep Security from the Source that Never Runs Dry
"Look at all those green leaves!" someone says. We all stand around, arms crossed, shaking our heads. A beautiful, healthy tree has crashed to the earth with no warning. Or, seemingly healthy, that is. Deep roots, strong trunk, sprawling branches, bright green leaves; it's all there. "Was there something we could've done to prevent this?" "Thank goodness the kids weren't in the backyard." "Better cut it up, get it off the lawn." The men ... Read More about How to Find Soul-Deep Security from the Source that Never Runs Dry
Bearing Fruit In Season
I am an architect, but I'm not. I am a missionary, but I'm not. Sound confusing? Maybe the confusion subsides when we embrace a view of vocation as separate from that of career -- as something that far surpasses nine to five work hours, salaries and benefits, something that begins to describe the condition of an individual's gifts and passions, heart and soul. And maybe this paradigm shift could be a way for many women to find greater peace ... Read More about Bearing Fruit In Season
skip the identity crisis & choose freedom
If I could write a letter to myself ten years younger, I wouldn't write wistfully: you have zero gray hair! you aren't yet jaded by burnout! you have so much enthusiasm! I know now how much joy will come wrapped up in the painful lessons of life and I will almost pity the shallow happiness of my early twenties. I wouldn't lecture, but I'd have some hard questions for my younger self to answer. . . (a letter to my younger ... Read More about skip the identity crisis & choose freedom
what it (really) means to put your identity in Jesus
It was another college party. I was the odd man out, the one who didn't actually go to college at all, the one who didn't know the songs playing from the iPod in the corner. I was the one sitting on the back of the couch, wondering what to do with my hands. I looked at other people, dancing and jingling their lanyards and car keys as they loudly conversed. Finally I spotted one of my friends and lifted my hand into a meager wave. He brought his ... Read More about what it (really) means to put your identity in Jesus
The Failed Personality Test {for when the lines that define you are fuzzy}
Have you ever cried after taking a personality test? I sobbed the last time I took one. I can laugh about it now, but at the time I was devastated. I'd spent several hours over-analyzing questions and doubtfully filling in blanks only to have the computer spit out a result that I knew, deep down, wasn't me. Well, it was somewhat me, but mostly it was the girl I hoped others saw when they looked at me -- and she was quite different than who I ... Read More about The Failed Personality Test {for when the lines that define you are fuzzy}
Identity Lost
Wrestling within herself, she turned away from my arms and the prayer on my lips. Her face now in shadow, she uttered a plea and prayer of her own that broke my heart. “God! Why am I worth fighting for?” At 16, Amy is a beautiful Christian girl who has already experienced enough of life’s ugliness to make her question her worth to the very God who gave it to her. Weeping, a homeschooling mom of young children tells me she can’t go on – she’s a ... Read More about Identity Lost
