0255-000081Falling in Love is amazing. It is a great smile-increaser. It can make the heart flutter when that certain someone walks into the room, when you hear their name or see their face. And when you hear those three most beautiful words for the first time, for a moment the world seems to stand still.

But Being in Love is where the true beauty and joy come from. That steady, constant boundary of love is the sweetest, most precious and beautiful thing that a heart can ever know. True love is a little taste of Heaven here on earth.

True love is a treasure that all who have should guard, and if you’re still on the outskirts, looking in and longing for a bit of love for yourself, take this time to know what True Love really is, for just like anything of great value, Love has a counterfeit- a deceitful “try-to-look-alike” that is cheap and worthless.  The best way to know the true from the false is to study the true…and trust in the one who’s way is always perfect to guide your steps.

True Love’s counterfeit is often Satan’s best weapon against real happiness, and one of his most successful snares to destroy and wound: its called “love”, but under the disguise, you’ll find infatuation. It can feel so good, look so good, consume so much of us that reason heads to the wind, and red flags that at one point would have caused us to be alarmed don’t even make us blink.

True love is a wonderful, happy thing. It is deep, and lasting and with proper cultivation and feeding, you can count on it to bloom and grow happily ever after. Infatuation is shallow, and is based on “feel good” rather than on what is best and right. It tends to take things into its own hands, and wants its own time. It is selfish, really, and while it puts on a good show and may ‘last’ for a good long time, the real kind of happiness gets left behind, and love never will be what it could have been if we’d only waited for the right love in the right time. True love takes more work. But it is worth every bit of work and more, because it is priceless, and it can last forever.

Infatuation and Love can be hard to tell apart, especially if you’ve gotten tangled into the former, but side by side, under the Light of God’s word, we find that it’s the little things that add up to the big things, and that they really aren’t the same at all.

I attended a meeting when I was in my mid teens, and someone handed me a paper I kept in my bible. It put Love to the True Test, and laid it out as clear as anything I’d ever seen:

True Love is:
A high and holy principle
• Looks beyond externals to “heart” content.
• Real
• Calm
• Deep
• Discriminating (good judgment)
• Hears counsel, seeks counsel from wise, godly counselors and God’s word.
• Sees both strengths and weaknesses clearly
• Careful, responsible
– Wholesomely (pure words)
– Thoughtfully
– Wisely
– Purity
– Goodness
• Constant
• Strengthened in trial
• Directed by principle and not by feeling or emotions
•  Has meaning and Goals
• Honest, exemplifies integrity
• Trusting and trustworthy before God and man
• Restrained, can live within boundaries
• Guided by godly principle
• Waits for God’s time and Ways, even when it crosses self.

Infatuation is:

Misguided by uneducated feelings and emotions
• Attracted & captivated by the externals (looks) more than the heart
• Tries to impress, is fake
• Fiery
• Shallow/superficial
• Impetuous
• Unreasonable, shuns counsel (of parents, those who are godly and seek our good)
• Blind to Danger Signals and Red Flags (rose-tinted glasses)
• Careless, irresponsible
– Flirtatiously, suggestively
– Thoughtlessly
– Foolishly
• Desires:
– What’s popular
– Momentary pleasure
– To have only a “Good time”
• Changeable
• Dies when severely tested
• Easily swayed
• Lives for the moment
• Deceives, misleads, lies to self and others
• Controlling
• Impulsive
• Desires its own way and time
• Rationalizes what is true and good in order to fulfill its own wishes
• Driven by selfishness
• Thoughtless of others (family, people who should matter)
• Driven by lust- under cover or openly

What does your love look like? If you haven’t experienced love yet, the real stuff is worth waiting for, and take time now to know what True Love is, what it looks like and when Love comes, put it to the ultimate test.

If you think you may be in love, examine your heart. Is your love pure, is it godly, is it right? Before marriage, purpose in your heart that you will not allow Satan to sneak his counterfeit over on you. And if you find your love isn’t real, isn’t right,  no matter what it may cost, no matter how much it may hurt, no matter if it breaks your heart, don’t settle for anything less than the very best that there could ever be- True Love.

Related Must Read Posts:

God’s Truth and Red Flags (1) & God’s Truth and Red Flags (2)

Watch Out for Wolves (1) Watch Out for Wolves (2)

This List was modified from a collection by Tom & Alane Waters in their “Journey” series


  1. Avatar Mariana S. Cordero says:

    Hey! Can I talk to somebody personally about this topic? I would really appreciate that! (: Thanks for all your work & service! (: God’s blessings.

  2. Avatar Ruth Bale says:

    Thank you…. In the midst of pain and confusion I do believe that God is building something principled and lasting inside of me….. Thank you for the encouragement that True Love is valuable and will stand the test.

  3. Avatar Samantha R says:

    Thank you for writing this; it’s simply beautiful and so full of truths!
    And definitely worth saving/printing.

  4. Oh. my. goodness..this article is incredible…i saw it at the correct time, i needed this more than you realize…I was going through such a bad infatuation, and all my friends who counsel me and my dear sisters in Christ were telling me that this is not good, this is not Godly, this is bad…one of them at our bible study even wrote me a list of the pros and cons of this infatuation and of this man….but seeing this list really helped to put things into perspectives..thanks to you and to the LORD i will not be settling for anything less than what’s best for me!! TRUE LOVE is so worth the wait…i think i’ll print this out too! and show it to my friends at the bible study, if it’s ok with you Chantel ๐Ÿ™‚ i think they’d benefit from this too!!!
    Thank you dear!! this was so what i needed to hear today!

    Much love, hugs and blessings always!

    In His Love, Jane

    1. Feel free to share, Jane. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m thankful that God could use these words to help another sister.

  5. Thank you so much for posting this. I am currently in a courtship with a wonderful man, and I am so grateful to have this reminder to take things the Lord’s way. I read this through carefully, and it gives me much to think about. Building a lasting relationship is so much work, isn’t it?! But it is worth it in the end. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Avatar Jaclynn R. says:

    This looks like something that I need to print out and keep on hand ;o)
    Many things to mull over; to look at through the Word of God.

    “Before marriage, purpose in your heart that you will not allow Satan to sneak his counterfeit over on you”…..I especially liked this because I realize how often things can seem good and real but it is all just a feeling.

  7. Thank you for this post, Chantel! What a great encouragement to us who are single to refuse the Devil’s counterfeit! I’ll be copying this list too. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Great post! I typed up a copy of the list for my own Bible. ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Thank you so much for this post it was really good! I wish I would have known things like this when I was a teenager. Very informative, thank you for letting God use you.

  10. Great article, Chantel! Thanks for the good reminders. God bless.

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