Why You Shouldn’t Be Looking For A Prince

He’s not a tall, handsome, rich prince. He’s just a man.

He’s a good man. A hard worker. Sometimes short-tempered, though always humble.

But he sure isn’t a prince.

Now that I’ve been married seven years, I can look back and realize how easy it would have been for me to marry someone else. I’m a pretty level-headed girl most of the time, but when it came to men it was easy for me to confuse what seemed good with what was.

The real reason I married him was because my father told me that marrying a servant is better than marrying a prince. 

Even after the first year, or second, I’m not sure I realized what I had. But now, seven years later, I see pretty clearly.

The real reason I married him was because my father told me that marrying a servant is better than marrying a prince.

There were a lot of things I dreamed about as a young girl, and when my husband showed up, he didn’t look much like what I’d imagined. But I’m thankful, oh, so very thankful, that I said yes to the servant, instead of demanding a prince.

I could have married someone younger. I could have married someone who was taller, or better looking, or someone who had never dated anyone else. Whatever imaginary quality equaled “prince” in my mind, I could have waited for. I could have. But I didn’t.

Instead I married a servant.

The guy that people call when they’re in a bind because if he can help, he will. The one that often gets the short end of the deal because he’s not going to push and he’d rather lose money than lose the opportunity to share the gospel. The man who takes the hard knocks of life right on the chin, because he won’t move from his protective stance around his family, no matter what is coming at him. The one who works long hours and drops his own projects for those around him. Who gives up what he wants to win the opportunity to be Jesus to a lost and dying world.

Girls ask me sometimes, “How do you know who to date? How did you get such a good husband?”

I usually laugh a little. Yes, my husband and I are crazy in love. More in love than any fairy-tale princess and her imaginary prince. But the real reason for that is not because we got lucky, or because we used some magical formula of courtship or dating or not-kissing-until-the-wedding-day. It’s because we both choose Christ, day after day after day.

So the only answer I can give? Don’t look at outward things. No, really. Don’t.

Look instead at what he chooses, day after day after day.

Then, when you’re married and there isn’t enough money, you can know it’ll be okay. Because God is faithful and you’re both choosing Him.

And when heartache slices through your lives, you can know it’ll be okay. Because God is gracious and you’re both choosing Him.

No matter what happens, or what comes, you can know it’ll be okay. Because God is love and you’re both choosing Him.

Seven years later my husband asked me if I would still marry him again if I knew all the trials that would come our way. After all, we’ve struggled to make enough money, and we can’t have babies, and sometimes we both work until our hands bleed.

I laughed. Would I?

If I could do it again, I would have raced down the aisle to him and shouted “I do” at the top of my lungs. Because regardless of anything my husband is not, the thing that he is, a bond-servant of Christmakes him better than a prince could ever be.


  1. Thank you for writing this! I’ve always been the girl looking for a prince, a guy with X, Y, and Z abilities and characteristics, but I’m realizing the only thing that needs to be on my list is that he know God and desire to know Him better. It’s about what God wants for me, not what I want. Again, thank you!

  2. Amen and amen. So thankful I married the man with a servant’s heart. Who treated his mom with respect, his sisters with tender care. Who was kind to little children. And who is a patient, understanding husband each day we share together.

  3. Absolutely wonderful. Your deep appreciation of your husband shines through. I LOVE your message : let us choose to go for the real/true instead of the idealistic . Love, love that. It’s something I’ve been pondering over.

    I’ve read so many books and articles on marriage, but I’ve never thought of the following this way : ” We choose God and God is love.” Thank you for sharing not only this great reminder, but also your undeniable writing gift with us.

  4. Ah, love this!
    Because you are both choosing Him…how very true. I am so blessed by my husband’s servant heart every day, especially the little things he goes out of his way to do for me on a daily basis. The time and care he takes to be a spiritual leader and makes sure we get our fill of the Word daily. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Haha! I’m smiling so big my mouth hurts! Oh how I love this. It makes my want to kiss my hubby. You’re right, those servant types are the best, because when the going gets tough, they start to shine. Thank God for giving us the eyes to see it. <3

  6. SOoooooooooooo thankful to have hard-working guys in my family who are unselfish like this! They love, serve and protect us each day. They willing give of their time and talents to help me and our family. They take a stand for what is right and don’t compromise. I am looking for a guy just like that. And Lord willing, someday, I’ll find him ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. This is SO GOOD. And true.

    I grew up surrounded by guys like this in my family.

    I pray constantly that I marry a man like this. But so far I haven’t bumped into one. I am beginning to think they are extinct.

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