Early in my marriage, I was asked what encouragement I would give to singles who were still in the season of “waiting.”
Here are ten bits of advice I shared. (And yes, there was a rather recurring theme…)
1. Don’t rush.
Marriage is not a place at which you will “arrive” but a season which will come in His time.
2. Don’t spend all your time wishing you were married.
Marriage is not the end goal of life.
3. Don’t sit around waiting for your man to come.
“Marriage is not your highest calling.”
4. Don’t fall in love.
True love is a plant of slow growth which will be the sweeter for strong roots and a sure foundation.
5. Don’t marry for the sake of marriage alone.
‘Tis better to be single than to wish you were.
6. Don’t rush.
It takes time to prove the mettle of a man, and only time will reveal a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
7. You will marry a sinner.
Open your eyes wide to his faults and think long and hard about whether you want to spend the rest of your life living with those imperfections magnified one hundred-fold.
8. Listen to the counsel of those who know and love you both.
They can see red flags that are invisible from your perspective.
9. Marry a friend.
Most of married life is lived side by side, not face to face.
10. Don’t rush.
You will have the rest of your lives together.
Being married to your best friend is worth the wait.
Photography: JenniMarie Photography
Gretchen Louise
@GretLouise
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Carrie says . . .
December 2, 2012 at 5:10 pmhow simply, beautifully, truly put!!! I have experienced this myself… it is so worth the wait to marry God;s best for me and to marry my best friend! =) Trust in Him dear unmarrieds, for if marriage is not in your future then He has something else for you just as grand and lovely!!!
Samantha R says . . .
January 23, 2012 at 8:31 pmSo true.. marriage is not THE highest calling!
Charis H says . . .
June 16, 2011 at 6:16 pmoh, thank you — so true! I appreciate your reminders and advice.
CherryRed says . . .
June 13, 2010 at 9:35 am“Marry a friend.” How true! I realised this only just recently, and all this while I’ve been a fool… But it’s too late now, unless the Lord moves in this situation.
And as Jaclynn mentioned, I dont want to be too old to have kids either!! lol. I guess it’s not a worry for men.
And yes, love that grows is the love to have! It takes time, but it’s worth it.. I’ve mistaken infatuation for love. It was costly, learnt it the hard way.
Ginger says . . .
April 26, 2010 at 9:16 amThank you…I needed that…
Women of Promise says . . .
April 24, 2010 at 8:12 amexcellent advice!
Kate says . . .
April 24, 2010 at 5:33 amThank you so much for the encouragement, Gretchen, to wait on God’s BEST! I need to be reminded of that many times.
I just discovered ylcf through a friend a couple of weeks ago, and the past week I have been spending every moment I can soaking in the wonderful posts on this site! I can’t tell you what an encouragement it is to read and be mentored by such Godly ladies who are upholding what my parents have taught me!
Beka says . . .
April 22, 2010 at 8:44 pmWow. Great post, Gretchen. –And spot-on reminders.
(was referred here by a good friend saying it’s wonderful advice…she’s right;))
Maiden Princess says . . .
April 22, 2010 at 5:41 pmThat was great! I needed to hear that! 🙂 Thank you!
Pondering those words,
Maiden Princess
Hannah says . . .
April 22, 2010 at 1:45 pmThis theme has been on my heart lately. Singleness is not easy. Pressure to be paired is everywhere, from the homeschool movement (as mentioned), to the world around us. Everyone seems to think that everyone else should be, if not married, with someone. And as bearable as the thought of future marriage is; I have come to see that I must completely surrender this wish to the Lord. If permanant singleness is His will for me, let His will be done!
Karen says . . .
April 22, 2010 at 9:07 amThanks for this post, Gretchen. I think it is hard for some ladies to be single, especially in the homeschool movement, because there is a push for women to embrace femininity and motherhood (a reaction against feminism). True femininity is in obeying God in whatever calling He leads a woman to. For some, that means marriage. For others, it means something different, yet equally good. (This is something that I’ve had to slowly come around to recognizing) Singleness is a blessing, and it’s important for young women to realize that God doesn’t call everyone to marriage, and that’s OK! They aren’t leftovers! Christ satisfies COMPLETELY! – Karen (friend of Jennifer’s)
Rael says . . .
April 21, 2010 at 3:11 pmGood stuff, Gretchen. I’m in a relationship right now, and it’s definitely applicable!
Jaclynn says . . .
April 21, 2010 at 12:59 pmSomeone told me earlier this week, ” you have plenty of time, don’t rush, take your time”.
I believe that, but it is also hard when I really want to have children someday before I am THAT old. lol
I wholeheartedly agree with this:
” Don’t spend all your time wishing you were married. Marriage is not the end goal of life. Don’t sit around waiting for your man to come. “Marriage is not your highest calling.”