Of Pinning and Pining
At first glance, it seemed like a good idea, or at least an entirely innocent one. Philippians 4:8 says we are to fill our minds with things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent or praiseworthy. Weddings fit into those categories, right? So why not have a wedding-themed Pinterest board?
But then I remembered who I’m dealing with: Me.
Me, who has to take chick-flicks in small doses. Me, who had to put the Anne of Green Gables series down for a break when I started getting too sentimental. Me, who has had my wedding, home and family picture-perfect in my mind since I was a little girl.
I never dreamed about movie stars or hung posters on my door. Instead, I imagined myself with someone as kind as Professor Bhaer and as handsome as Rochester, as thoughtful as Gilbert and as dashing as Mr. Darcy.
I didn’t join the dating scene while I was young. Instead, I soaked in as many real-life weddings as I could. I wanted the real deal. The whole enchilada. The man, the wedding, the house and kids. And I still do.
Therein, my friends, lies the problem. I want those things very much, and yet tomorrow isn’t my wedding day. If it were, I would have good reason to fill my mind with thoughts of lace gowns and red roses. If I was engaged, I would have someone to give my attention to, but I’m not.
Just like watching too many chick-flicks or reading too many sentimental novels, having a special board on Pinterest where I feed my desire for a white country church, pink peonies and violin music is probably not a good idea. I think about it plenty as it is. I daydream about the future enough to plan my wedding on short notice if I ever do get the chance! To have a special place on the Internet where I plan and dream and gush and yearn might make me content in that moment, but discontent in the moments to follow. I’m not hiding my desire for marriage, but I am trying to enjoy my life right now the way it is. Even without the white country church.
If you can handle those temptations better than I can, have at it! Your board will be beautiful and ready for the moment he bends his knee. But if you’re like me, stick with pinning the Pinterest pictures with the goofy captions. You can go back and laugh at those with your husband for years after your wedding day…
{More on Pinterest & Weddings: “in praise of my unspectacular, pre-Pinterest wedding” and “In which I wonder about Pinterest“}
I have been feeling a subtle twinge in my heart over this very topic for some time now and I have been fighting it with all my might. I justified having the right intentions for it all and ignored how much time I spent pining instead of pinning. Thank you for your honesty, it really has given me a wakeup call.
I could have written this post as easily as I relate to it! I, too, yearn so much after I read Anne of Green Gables, or read about Mr. Rochester, Mr. Darcy, Professor Bhaer, and Gilbert. I, too, have to limit my consumption of chick flicks and any type of beautiful love story. I know it is a God-given desire, but like anything it must be kept in check lest my yearning for tomorrow ruins today. Thank you for the great post!
haha love this! I’ve chosen not to have a wedding pinterest board for similar reasons. And I figure…when the time comes and I do need ideas for a wedding, I know I can count on having friends with well rounded wedding boards! =D I’ve noticed that you can tell a lot about people by their pinterest boards…mine would show you that I’m into photography, some would show an interest in cooking, or kids, or something like that. And with some gals, you know that all they can really dream about is their future(and as of yet unforeseen) wedding. Seems like a waste of energy to me.
Another thing is… the guy you marry actually does impact on the style of the wedding and the amount of money available for the wedding. When I got married we decided we didn’t want to go into debt to pay for our wedding. It ended up costing about $8000. Having a pinterest section on wedding dreams I feel would help to create an unhealthy picture of an ideal wedding that may or may not be feasible. 馃檪 LOL I’m all about saving money and being practical!
I agree, Cherith! The guy should impact and have a say on it too so why waste time or get carried away too much before the guy is in the picture 馃檪
Exactly!! It can be a big waste of time… esp. if one isn’t engaged yet.
It’s so easy to be discontent and “pine” away with things that aren’t meant for “Now”.
And it’s so easy to get caught up with “online” things when we need to be focused on living our lives and spending time with the people we love dearly 馃檪
I like what Beth said above:
“I want to live a happy fulfilled single life. I want to come to my wedding day free of expectations. To much weddiness on pinterest does not help me with any of these things.”
Except for when I was in my early teens, I’ve never been one to plan it all out. But this post is a great reminder, because it could be too easy to hop from dreaming to discontent. Even now, being in a serious relationship, I’m still not planning it all out, because I know there is a time and place for everything and we will get to that when the time is right. 馃檪
Thank you for this!! I don’t have certain boards for the same reasons.
Oh dear. You sound just like me! 馃榾 Good thoughts!
Beautifully said, Everly!
you have mirrored my exact thoughts. I had a post written in my head stating my thoughts on this matter.
I wonder too about the level of expectations being set. pinning dream pictures that obviously were unstaged…but girls hoping their guy will do the same thing.
Admittedly while I have refused to have a wedding board, that has not stopped me from gazing on other people’s dream weddings. Yes, the thoughts are not the ones that should be in my head.
I want to live a happy fulfilled single life. I want to come to my wedding day free of expectations. To much weddiness on pinterest does not help me with any of these things.
ouch, but so true. thanks for this.