written January 2007
Last Saturday, I watched as my cousin Brian slipped a ring on his new bride’s finger.The pictures in their slide show coordinated perfectly with the lyrics of the new Country song by Heartland, “I Loved Her First.”And as the vocalists sang Newsong’s “When God Made You,” we all rejoiced together with Brian and Jordyn.
My cousins make such handsome grooms. Brian is the third of my cousins to get married in the past few years.It is so exciting to see each one find the wife God made just for him.
I got Brian and Jordyn a funny card. Having just recently opened a mound of wedding cards, I knew they’d appreciate the humorous break in the midst of the pile of congratulations.
What I wrote in their card was different from what I might have a year ago, as well.Gone were the cousinly bits of advice.Seven months of marriage have taught me that I will never be finished learning how to better love my husband. Any bits of wisdom I might previously have tried to pass on, I now know they must learn for themselves.
No one can make you always put your husband first just by telling you—you must learn it by daily practice. There is no textbook perfect way to balance keeping the house clean, the meals warm, and your husband happy—you have to learn it for yourself, by learning exactly what your husband deems most important. And as my husband would testify, no one can explain to you how to understand your wife—it is something only time can teach you (I’m sure he would add, “if ever”, but in 7 months he has come to know me better than I know myself).
So what could I say to my newlywed cousins? Only this. That I prayed they might find as much happiness together as we have.
And truly, I could wish them no better than to be as happy as we are.