by Sarah Graw
I scold, I hold, I praise, I reprimand, I instruct, I look. I do this and I do that. And yet, is it ever enough? Are my kids feeling my love? Are they feeling my care? Are they learning to obey? Are they learning to trust Jesus? Are they learning right from wrong and how to make good choices? Am I doing enough for them, with them? Is it good enough?
Oh friends, sometimes the days are just overwhelming. By the day’s end I just want to sprawl out on the couch in utter exhaustion. What went well? What went wrong? How do I get the courage and the strength to pick up and carry on another day? I take a step and I step on a small person. I try to move and I’m pulled another direction. I try to get something taken care of and a smaller person cries. I feel as if nothing gets done and it all starts over again in the morning.
Will that pile of laundry ever be put away? Will those dishes ever be emptied from the sink? Will I ever feel like I’ve accomplished all I needed to do?
And what about the play times and the giving of attention, the fun mom that I have visions of being? Am I giving that to my children? Are they feeling like mama is there to enjoy life and interact with them? Or is she merely sitting nearby in a chair watching? Where is the energy that I need to get up and play? Where is that energy that adds joy and excitement to the littlest of things?
Did I feed them nourishing foods and were their mealtimes on schedule? Did I even follow a schedule today? And I sigh.
When the little ones come to me with owies and hurts, how do I respond? When do you brush it aside and when do you sympathize? And how much sympathizing does it require when the brother pushes the sister and there’s tears of frustration and anger?
Oh, there’s just so much. So much to being a mother.
At the day’s end, did I teach them enough about Jesus? Did we weave Him throughout the day? Did I take the time to have worship with my children? Or did I push it all aside because life just took over the day?
Did I sing? Was I joyous? Or was my tone one of tiredness, defeat and complaint?
When I’ve gotten to the end of the day and my children are tucked in their beds, was all that I did really good enough? Or was it a miserable failure?
Do you have these feelings too? Or am I all alone in these thoughts?
I know that somehow, these days and these moments must all be surrendered to the Lord. And yet, how often I struggle through my days without Him. Either He’s been forgotten, or I’m stubborn and think I can do it on my own. Or maybe I’m too afraid of the changes that He can make in my life?
I don’t know. But I do know that I need Him. And I need His power. And I need His strength to even want to carry on with this daily struggling battle called life.
Because He is the only One that is Good. And He can make what I do through Him, “good enough.” In fact, He can make it beautiful. Somehow, someway, He can make my long and overwhelming days beautiful.
Lord, take my days, take my children, take my life and let it all be consecrated to You. Let it all be beautiful in You.
Sarah is a blessed stay-at-home mama of three little ones. She loves country living and the simple joys of life, cooking, scrapbooking, reading, music and her wonderful hubby, Mike. She strives to be a Godly example to her kids and teach them each and every day about Jesus.