• Identity
  • Singleness
  • Love
  • Loss
  • Marriage
  • Motherhood
  • Mentoring
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Kindred Grace

  • About
  • Values
  • Contact
  • Guest Post

Before Epic, Be Kind

Hayley Novak · 5 minute read

Share1.3K
Pin
Tweet
Email
Print
1.3KShares
1.3K
It's not a popular thought, but it's okay to be faithful in the small things. Living a quiet life and loving people well requires enormous strength and bravery. Being kind isn't small. via @KindredGrace

I am watching my husband play basketball, sitting on metal bleachers in the YMCA gymnasium when I hear her calling my name; old enough in body to be my mother, young enough in mind to be my child. She looks up at me earnestly and we half-shout at each other to be heard above the noise of the annual Fire Department vs. Special Olympics basketball game. (In all the years of playing, the firefighters have been mysteriously unable pull off a win.)

She is happy to see me: at one time, we were her landlords. She liked my husband, Daniel, though she couldn’t convince him to let her get a pet.  We talk about her new housing situation and the Christmas tree ornament she’d given me.

“Hayley, I have a question for you.” Her face is uplifted, voice still raised.

“I don’t have any family. My mom died,”  she pauses for emphasis: “WILL YOU AND DANIEL ADOPT ME?”

Everyone sitting near us on the bleachers turns to look and then discreetly turns away, leaving me to answer all on my own. It isn’t funny; she is dead serious.

In a flash I run scenarios through my mind: she is alone in the world, cared for by well-meaning government programs, being adopted by a family. What does that even look like? Do you adopt 55-year-old women? Maybe we could just have a weekly game night, I think, unable to turn away from anyone who cries out: love me.

God, is this something You are asking us to do?

In my deep desire to get it right, to move forward, unshrinking from the hard things, the simplicity of doing the right thing is paralyzed by the analytical thought process of knowing which right thing to do.

You don’t need to be epic, you need to be kind.

Where did that come from?

Before Epic, Be Kind

I slide over on the bleachers and pat the metal next to me. “Want to come up and sit with me?” Her face splits into a grin and she climbs up. We sit together and watch the game, cheering for our favorites. We gossip a bit. I’m still thinking about adult adoption when she abruptly tells me goodbye and leaves, happy. I watch her walk across the edge of the court to sit with her teammates and know that she is happy and loved by the community that she is part of.

Did she really want me to adopt her? Or did she just want to belong? Why is it sometimes easier for me to think about adoption than sharing my evening? I never answered her question. MFD lost the game (again). I went home and thought about being epic.

It’s a go-viral, epic, do-big-things world out there. The church isn’t an exception to this trend: we (rightly) honor people who do great things. In a broken society, you can’t help but be impressed by the difference makers: they adopt, they start non-profits, they go to Africa, they write books, they open their doors to the homeless. They are the epic people, you know. Sometimes these heroes end up on pedestals. Sometimes we end up on pedestals. It’s easy to be great on a pedestal but it’s hard to remember the power of simple kindness: taking the time to stop and say hello is becoming a lost art because we’re so desperately busy trying to be intentional and, well, you know, epic. 

It's easy to be great on a pedestal but it's hard to remember the power of simple kindness.

It's easy to be great on a pedestal but it's hard to remember the power of simple kindness.
Click to Tweet

Small things lead to great things but often in the rush of ambition, human nature loses sight of the small. Kindness leads to greatness: people don’t start risky NGOs in third world countries to be mean. But once greatness has seemingly arrived, we often find ourselves far too busy to be kind.  Busy, busy, shockingly busy, much too busy for you. But no worries, I’m busy doing great things.

I’m surely not immune to the desire to make my life matter.  I don’t want to sit in a do-nothing vegetative state. But I also don’t want to lose sight of the sweetness of being kind. Without creating a tension between two good things (it’s good to do great things) (it’s good to be kind), I wish we could see a revival of simple kindness.

So I’ve been thinking:

1. If you’re epic, be kind.

While carrying heavy responsibilities it’s tempting to write off briskness as efficiency, but efficiency can still be approachable and kind.

2. Be kind to the epic people.

Doing a great work can be a lonely venture. Observers can be jealous, snippy and critical. Be an encourager. Realize the isolation of doing hard things. Mr. Epic may not have asked for the pedestal he finds himself on.

3. If you’re not epic, be kind.

It’s not a popular thought, but it’s okay to be faithful in the small things. We can’t all write books and be famous and start foundations. That would be weird. Living a quiet life and loving people well requires enormous strength and bravery. Being kind isn’t small.

Living a quiet life and loving people well requires enormous strength and bravery. Being kind isn't small.
Click to Tweet

Jesus said:

“You’ve observed how godless rulers throw their weight around, how quickly a little power goes to their heads. It’s not going to be that way with you. . .Whoever wants to be great must become a servant.  That is what the Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not be served- and then to give away his life in exchange for the many who are held hostage.” (Matthew 20:24-28, The Message)

Mother Teresa said:

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

You might adopt; you might not. But either way, make room on the bleachers for someone who needs your kindness.

Photography: JenniMarie Photography

  • Bio
  • Pinterest
  • Latest Posts
Hayley Novak

Hayley Novak

blogger at Firefighter's Family
Hayley Novak is married to Daniel, mama, teacher and  taxi service to JD, Cambria and Eli, living in a brick house with a big old front porch ten blocks from the Mississippi River. For fun (and sheer terror!) she and Daniel buy, renovate and lease houses; Saturdays are her favorite day because she lets her children watch cartoons until noon. She loves Jesus and would love to stop the glorification of busy. She writes (occasionally) on grief, grace, loss and honest snapshots of real life. She continually leaves her house wearing only one earring. Nothing about her is perfect but she is loved by a perfect God and wants to communicate that love to you. Contact her at [email protected]
Hayley Novak

Hayley Novak

Hayley Novak

Latest posts by Hayley Novak (see all)

  • Parenting: Gospel for Both of Us - October 1, 2016
  • Before Epic, Be Kind - August 16, 2016
  • skip the identity crisis & choose freedom - July 6, 2016
  • building a home your kids want to come home to - May 4, 2016
  • Rice Nights: choosing scarcity once a week - October 23, 2015
Hayley Novak
Share1.3K
Pin
Tweet
Email
Print
1.3KShares
1.3K

Inspirational · August 16, 2016 · 4 Comments

You may also enjoy...

  • On Becoming RealOn Becoming Real
  • George MacDonald: A Single Vision and An Open Road Between Him and GodGeorge MacDonald: A Single Vision and An Open Road Between Him and God
  • Heaven is my home, earth is my business address.Heaven is my home, earth is my business address.
  • Wounded by “Christians”Wounded by “Christians”
Previous Post: « How Elisabeth Elliot’s Books Have Shaped My Life
Next Post: Inspiring Women of Faith from History »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Comment

Comments

  1. AvatarAngela says . . .

    August 21, 2020 at 7:43 pm

    Wow! Thank you for this thoughtful and thought-provoking post!

    Reply
  2. AvatarRachelle Rea Cobb says . . .

    August 17, 2016 at 11:41 am

    Thank you, Hayley. Just today I received a text from a long-time friend asking me a hard, commitment-laden question and reading your post gave me the motivation to thread a kind answer when it was hard to see past my own hesitancy. Thank you!

    Reply
  3. AvatarRuth Wininger says . . .

    August 17, 2016 at 5:37 am

    Thank you for posting! I love the simple yet profound message.

    Reply
  4. AvatarTenneil says . . .

    August 16, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    I love it. So similar to a thought I was having the other day. Thank you.

    Reply

Join the Conversation Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

subscribe without commenting

Primary Sidebar

Avatar

Hayley Novak

Hayley Novak is married to Daniel, mama, teacher and  taxi service to JD, Cambria and Eli, living in a brick house with a big old front porch ten blocks from the Mississippi River. For fun (and sheer terror!) she and Daniel buy, renovate and lease houses; Saturdays are her favorite day because she lets her children watch cartoons until noon. She loves Jesus and would love to stop the glorification of busy. She writes (occasionally) on grief, grace, loss and honest snapshots of real life. She continually leaves her house wearing only one earring. Nothing about her is perfect but she is loved by a perfect God and wants to communicate that love to you. Contact her at [email protected]

read more posts

Courage, dear heart; God is writing your story. He created you. He is the One Who gives you identity.

In Him, there is hope. There is freedom. There is grace.

Recent Posts

Broken Relationships and the God Who Heals

When Life Doesn’t Look Like You Expected

How to Find Freedom from Guilt and Shame

Sponsored Links

Footer

Popular Posts

  • Broken Relationships and the God Who Heals
  • When Life Doesn’t Look Like You Expected
  • How to Find Freedom from Guilt and Shame
  • Ever After: The Best Fairy-Tale Retellings for Christian Readers
  • For the Person Walking Through a Long, Hard Season

In-Laws Loss Friendship Mentoring

What is grace?

We'd love to tell you a story... We believe there is no room for self-righteousness or for self-condemnation in hearts that have been given life by His transforming love.

He walked straight into a story of brokenness and pain. For us. And grace is the ability to fellowship again. Read more...

Join the Community

Books by Kindred Grace Authors

Disclosure: Links may be affiliate links. Your clicks and purchases help support Kindred Grace.
About · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Contact
Copyright © 2021 Kindred Grace · All Rights Reserved
Photography & Graphic Design by JenniMarie · Site by Gretchen Louise

1.3KShares
1.3KShares