The Bait of Satan (book review)
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I couldn’t believe my eyes! I gasped aloud at the incredulity of it. Someone was backing into my car — as I stood there and watched! Completely oblivious to the fact that I was watching, the man didn’t even get out of his car to check the damage. My blood pressure soared – what was he thinking? He owed me the decency to at least get out of his car and apologize!
‘Owed me’. I felt this man owed me a debt of decency, respect and apology. Ouch. The Holy Spirit arrested my thoughts as they raced ahead to my scratched bumper.
I was offended.
Mistakes happen, and I had grace for that, but what irked me to no end, was that the man was not going to apologize. That is what offended me.
In Matt 18, Jesus warns that offense will come. He says:
“It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! (Luke 17:1 NKJV)
Offense is a part of this broken, fallen world that we live in and believers are far from immune to it. It is one of the greatest pitfalls the Devil uses to trip us up with. As Christians we know the truth, and often have a high sense of justice, and what is right or correct — so when something is wrong, it’s very, very, easy for us to become offended by it.
If forgiveness is a debt paid, then offense is a debt owed. When I feel like I am “owed” something, it’s a sure sign I’m walking into offense. In Christ, I no longer have any “rights”. I was bought with a price and gave my life (all of it!) to Him. Therefore, there is nothing that can be “owed” to me any longer.
In his book The Bait of Satan – Living Free From Offense, John Bevere takes a challenging look at offense and how it affects every area of our lives. He says,
“The focus of offended Christians is inward and introspective. We guard our rights and personal relationships carefully. Our energy is consumed with making sure no future injuries occur. If we don’t risk being hurt, we cannot give unconditional love. Unconditional love gives others the right to hurt us.”
and
“If you have given yourself totally to Jesus and are committed to his care, you cannot be offended because you are not your own. Those who are hurt and disappointed are those who have come to Jesus for what He can do for them, not because of who He is.”
Freedom to love others as the Lord loves us, comes from letting go of our rights and offense. Reading The Bait of Satan radically helped change my life and relationships this past summer. I can’t recommend it highly enough! Never one to hold a grudge, I didn’t think I really needed to read it when my pastor talked about it. I was so wrong! Offense wears many faces. Personally, it can feel like someone owes me something, or if I start seeing people for what they are not, rather than who they are – chances are I’m offended.
The Bait of Satan is a recommended read for every Christian, and a must read for anyone in ministry or leadership in the church! Learn more from John Bevere in this short video:
Giveaway
I’d love to send someone a copy of this book. Enter the giveaway by commenting on this post and sharing the best advice you’ve heard or experience you’ve had in dealing with an offense. (Giveaway closed. Ended March 13 at midnight EST.)
Wow. Reading this description: Looks like something I could benefit from.
Congratulations, Victoria. You’re the winner! Please watch for an email from the Kindred Grace team to claim your copy.
Let it go, because you’ve got nothing to gain from getting offended and everything to lose. The only person being offended hurts is you.
Some of the best advice I’ve received about offense is this: 2 John 6: Live in grace, walk in love. Stop trying to find people who are worse than you. Stop forming opinions about everybody – we’re all stumbling toward Jesus. Stop keeping count, both of wrong and of right. Stop holding people accountable – it’s not about you, it’s about Jesus.
I’d love to read this book!
Ohhh, I would love to win this book!
I think if we have truly let go of bitterness and forgiven offenses, or wrongs, it will show in our outward actions. How we treat others, our facial expressions, our words etc.
We will be at peace.
I’m really intrigued by this book/study and find, not opposition, but questions popping up just as I read this post or the book’s synopsis. As Christians, we should come to almost expect others (Christians or non-) to “bait” us, since it is the human/earthly response, but at what point or in what manner do we command respect as a person/child of God? Who defends us when we do not put up an offense?
But I do agree with the “owe” concept, as well as the bitterness we can hold onto. I know I have fallen into that trap for sure. I’ve learned from past experiences to let go of the hurt (and it’s a process, it’s not an overnight release) and the bitterness of keeping the hurt so close to yourself. I never like myself when I’m in that place anyway. I become much more happy/peaceful when I release it to Him and pray for the same stirring in others.
A few days ago I offended my mom. Not with what I said but how I said it. On my end, I was half-jokingly voicing my frustration, but to her, it was very decidedly hurtful and degrading. The result was several hours of awkward silence (after her initial outburst of hurt and tears).
I was frustrated and upset because she was hurt and upset.
I contacted a mentor of mine since my mom and I seem to continually have these little encounters over the most trivial things and I was frustrated with my own tendencies to offend her and speak flippantly without thinking through what I say.
My mentor’s initial response was simple and almost ridiculously obvious:
“Remember the only perfect one who they hung on the cross.
If you were wrong, give her a hug, tell her you love her and apologize.”
I realized that a lot of the issue lay within my pride. Apologizing requires humility. And it was HARD. Especially for someone like me who tends to want to
(Cont.)
…put a cap on their emotions.
I went to her, inevitably broke down in tears, and told her I was sorry for how I spoke to her. She began to cry as we’ll and said she loved me, we hugged, and I told her I loved her.
That was all she needed to know! She was l
Just this last week God has been teaching me this 🙂 Several times I got offended…totally in my right, of course. And then God started telling me to let it go and trust Him in those things, too.
Sometimes He protects me from doing something that would go wrong by using a person I think is being obnoxious and irritating to stop me. Other times I see no reason for the offense, and God is just shaping my character and teaching me more about love!
I am so excited by this book! I have come across so many hurting people (usually from fellow Christians, sadly) and to have this being Biblically addressed is wonderful.
The best advice that has stuck with me is to remember what we all are without Christ, and bear in mind that we are all sinners who daily fall short, and to see what we ourselves look like. Sometimes it just helps get things back in perspective.
Anyway, I hope whoever of us gets the book really enjoys it. Thanks for sharing, Katie! =)
Turn the other cheek… or don’t even “engage” someone who isn’t being rational and reasonable. Forgive and move on with your life 🙂
This looks veeeery interesting and timely! Thank you for the review.
My dad is a pastor, and my family has seen both the good side and the bad side of Christian behavior. Whenever something offensive happens, though, my dad is careful to remind us “don’t judge Christ by His bride.” It’s a helpful reminder that humans are flawed, even Christian ones, but that Christ is above whatever offended us.
Thanks for your post!
Thank you so very much for this! Just what I needed. 😉