by Elizabeth D.
“I don’t think Edmond would have had a chance if he had fought Trumpkin twenty-four hours earlier. But the air of Narnia had begun working upon him ever since they arrived on the island, ad all his old battles came back to him, and his arms and fingers remembered their old skill. He was King Edmond once more.” Prince Caspian pg 100
Breathing the air of Narnia, a schoolboy became not just in title, but in strength, stature, ability; who he really was: a king of Narnia.
King (or queen), priestess, a warrior maiden matron,… However, I am none of these things, in strength, ability, stature,… if I am not breathing deeply of His presence. I am as much of a schoolgirl then as Edmond a schoolboy of England. If I am not living in His Presence, breathing and drinking of it, all is naught.
I fell flat on my face again, frustrated, and knew where I ought to be. I knew I was functioning in my own strength again rather than His grace. I knew without His grace I was powerless… I was so discouraged because I knew what was, I knew where I had been, and I knew – that though things might have looked alright on the outside I wasn’t where I needed to be. And it wasn’t a matter of “doing”….But how to get back to where I needed to be?
The old religious Liz would have worked harder, given into more religious zeal, tried to do more… In order to be what I thought I should be in the Kingdom, in order to be who I am told I am in Scripture…
I know what my identity is in Christ, I know who I am in Christ. I have seen Him do things, and I know the power of living in His presence. I know my identity in Christ and it is real.
But I cannot be there unless I am breathing in deeply of His Presence.
But how can I minister if I am not breathing? If I am not breathing I am as good as dead. If I am not being filled with His presence, drinking Him in how can I be so filled as for Christ to be working through me. For if it truly is no longer I who lives, but Christ who dwells in me. I cannot walk in my own strength, in my own flesh, in my own “ability”… I must be breathing deeply of His presence or I have lost my strength. I need to be filled and being filled; in order for Christ to pour out of me to do His will in and through me.
Unless it is Christ in me, I run in vain. I fight as one who beats the air with his sword.
Unless it is Christ in me,…
I can pray in vain— for there is not the power of relationship in the words I speak I fight in vain— for I have no power I work in vain— what profit is in it? I minister in vain— for it is then no longer real ministry I live in vain— for what is life, apart from Abundant Life?
I have no ability to do the work of the Kingdom, if I am walking in my own strength.
Rather, I see now, that it is not who I am, but who Christ is, and who I am in Christ. And I cannot “do” something to become that. I need to be. Be in Him. Be in His Presence. Be breathing deeply of Him. So that I can be filled. So that Christ in me is who I am.
I won’t even pretend to act as what I am not. If it is not flowing from my relationship, if it is not because I am breathing His presense – it is naught.
I again need to be breathing so deeply of Him, His presence so that I can be filled with Him and He may do through me all. For truly I can do nothing with out Christ, and I can do all through Christ in me.
Father just let me be in Your presence. Let me breath you in. May Your breath fill my lungs, and the oxygen of You give strength to my body. May it be nothing but You in me. I want to again drink of Your Life in all it’s fullness and I want that Life, the relationship we had. I know I can’t do it. I just want You, and nothing but You.