Content but not Complete – Part Two

Why do we have the desire to be married? #singleness

Created For Marriage

Why do we have the desire to be married? The answer goes back to the very beginning, to Genesis 2:18-24:

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

The reason God gives for creating woman in the first place is to be a helper for man. We are the completer of the man – his “other half.” That’s so much more than a cute phrase! It really gets to the root of why we want to be married. We want to be joined to our other half! It’s not okay to desire marriage. It’s more than okay – it’s good and right and pleasing to God. He is glorified when His creatures fill the places for which He created them. When you long for marriage, part of that desire is the longing to fill your appointed place in the universe. Rejoice that you have that desire!

Jesus Or A Husband?

When you long for marriage...Have you ever heard or read something along these lines? “You need to just take all the love that you would give a husband and transfer it to Jesus. He is the only one worthy of your love anyway, and He can fulfill all your longings. If you love Him, you don’t even need a husband.”

This kind of thinking is misleading. Yes, Jesus is to have our hearts. Loving Him is the most important thing in our lives! But He’s not your boyfriend or husband. God has chosen to give us several different kinds of love. Our love for God is not the same kind of love that we would give a husband. When God looked on all His creation in the garden of Eden, He said, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen.2:18). Remember that Adam had perfect fellowship with God at this point – there had been no sin. He could communicate with God more fully and completely than any of us have been able to since! And yet God said he was alone. God created mankind with the need for other humans – and more specifically, with a need for a spouse. He didn’t say, “The man is alone so I will bring him another man to be his friend.” It pleased Him to create a woman, and to institute marriage right from the beginning! So to say that we can just love Jesus is obviously missing part of what God intended. Loving Jesus is different than loving a husband.

Substituting Jesus for a “significant other” is not the answer. If we could see Him in all His kingly glory, the idea would be unthinkable.

And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean. And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS (Revelation 19:11-16).

Your boyfriend? I don’t think so.

Click to read the rest of the series…  Part One >> Part Three >> Part Four

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conversations between sisters in Christ

  1. Anna says

    I really like the point you brought out about Adam being sinless at this point, but there was still this need in his life.

  2. Ana says

    Thank you for this reminder that we need to love God more then anything, but we do not love Him the same as we would love a husband! He deserves to be loved and adored so much more then we would our husbands! Thank you again!

  3. Waleria says

    Jeannie – this post was extremely refreshing. I find the idea of equating Jesus with a lover/boyfriend/husband very disturbing, and I’m glad you shared your views on this subject.

  4. ShelleyMariee says

    Jeannie,

    Thank you for the thought-provoking post. I think all too often we create similarities (Jesus and boyfriend) that are unbiblical. Even if those were well-intended, somewhere in the mix of those we lose sight of reverence and awe, like Rev. 19 reveals about Him. Thanks:-)