She’s Got Issues
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I was probably nine when I had my first major face-off with one of my greatest troubles.
I was sent up to teach the kindergartners their church school lesson one week. I’d practiced and practiced and written down every single little word that I was going to say. But when I got up there, I felt the eyes of an entire classroom riveted on my back as I set out my felts. My introverted little heart was alternately frozen with fear and beating out of my chest with anxiety. My shaky hands I could deal with, but when I opened my mouth to speak I realized that I had lost my voice. My mouth was forming words, but not even a squeak would come out. It felt like the worst moment of my life.
In that moment of panic, I briefly considered bolting for the door in shame and heading for the nearest closet. I considered hiding for the rest of my life so that no one would remember me as the girl who lost her voice at church. I knew I had issues with fear. But I also knew that running never solved anything at all. I wanted to run, but I knew I right then that I had to stay. I had to fight this. I gulped a few times and forced a whisper out of my throat. If I couldn’t talk, I could still whisper.
My face was burning bright red with embarrassment and humiliation. My hands shook so badly I could hardly put the felts on the board. I think maybe my knees even shook. But I stood my ground. I prayed desperately a little girl’s cry for courage and decided that I would finish that lesson even if I had to whisper the entire thing. That’s exactly what happened. When the lesson was over, and the somewhat baffled children and probably amused parents had filed away, I sank into a heap behind the felt board. It was over. That day, I won one of my first battles against my biggest issue: fear.
I may have won a battle that day, but the war against fear is one I still fight today. I wish I could say that I always choose to fight like I did that day in the little classroom of my childhood home church. I wish that I always remembered that hiding or running don’t fix anything. I wish that with adulthood, I could say that I’d won the war. I may not loose my voice when I teach the little ones, and maybe I am better at looking brave and strong when I’m shaking inside. But the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, and sometimes fears that I don’t really even understand have punctuated my life. Sometimes I’ve won, sometimes I’ve lost. But today, I’m more aware of those issues, and of my natural tendency to want to hide.
When a copy of She’s Got Issues showed up on my doorstep last spring, I wasn’t sure that I’d like it. It wasn’t because I didn’t think I could relate to the issues talked about in the book, but because I wasn’t sure I wanted to read another book that was filled with flowery words and never really pointed out the remedy: our Savior.
But I read it anyway. I’m glad I did. Nicole’s approach to the issues of our hearts that we tend to excuse and laugh away touched my heart. She got to the root of the matter, and pointed back to Jesus as the only one who can take these plastic faces we put on to hide our brokenness, and teach us to be the real women He always intended us to be. I knew then it’d be a book I’d read again.
And I am reading it again. This time, I’m reading it with a sweet friend. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it is that sometimes being vulnerable and open with someone you can trust is the best way to fight the kind of internal fears that I do. She’s Got Issues is designed for something just like this.
Tell me, what’s your greatest “issue” and what has helped you the most in fighting it?
- Read my original review over on my blog
- Read Natasha’s review on her blog
- Read Nicole’s post on Kindred Grace
Giveaway
I’m excited to be able to share a copy of She’s Got Issues with one of you! I think if more of us ladies read this book, and learned to face our hidden issues, if more of us talked and prayed together about these battles, we’d be so much stronger. Also, with special thanks to Nicole Unice, you can enter to win the Group Experience DVD set that goes with the book!
To enter the giveaways, please fill out the rafflecopter forms below.
I fight pride and self-reliance. It is so hard for me to accept God’s grace and my brokenness! Emily P. Freeman’s insight in her book “Grace for the Good Girl” (you can read my review of it here http://www.altogetherseparate.com/2012/02/grace-for-good-girl.html) has helped me so much.
This sounds like another book that would be great for me!
Thanks,
Abigail
Tell me, what’s your greatest “issue” and what has helped you the most in fighting it?
My greatest “issue” is fear. It helps me to focus more on the Lord and His word that is how I fight it the best.
I have to say I’ve had to deal with fear. The scripture verse about perfect love casting out all fear helped!
I fight mostly with getting really impatient, panicked and possibly hysterical and grumpy when I don’t get something right from the first time or when things don’t go the way I expected..
I fight with many things, i think.
I skipped over reading this book for the same reason you did… but now I feel that this might be a book that would help me.
Is it bad that I was quaking in my shoes as I read *your* ordeal? 🙂
Oops, this didn’t go through: I fight with … materialism, and vanity.
Hehe. No! I still get a similar quacky feeling if I have to speak to complete strangers, lead out in something, or contribute to a class and everyone looks at me. 😛
Fear is definitely a huge struggle for me!
I struggle with self-image.
I fight the fear of my future. I trust it is in God’s hands, but tend to doubt it sometimes.
Fear is a big thing for me as well. I am naturally quite shy. I love people, but they sometimes seem too prying and open.
Hmm – I think one of mine has just been realizing that everyone does have issues, including me, and that that’s okay. I suppose that could be a pride thing but also just getting to a level of knowing people beyond acquaintance level so that it becomes okay and safe to share. Following up on that, I think learning to communicate well and in a gracious, constructive, mutually helpful way can be challenging.
Fear of people… shyness.
Anxiety!
I’d love to get this book!!
I battle fear on a daily basis–fear of the unknown, of others opinions…
I fight with control.
Self-confidence! It is hard to lean only on the LORD, not on people, and know that the only acceptance I need is His.
Amen! 🙂
I struggle with fear of the unknown, and time and time again I must remind myself that I serve a Father who knows the unknown.
Self-discipline. . . something I’ve been working on for a long time.
I fight with perseverance. The thing that has helped me the most is simply giving it to God. This something that sounds so easy, but I don’t do it nearly often enough. I know all too well that the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
I struggle with anxiety.
Sounds interesting and like a good read!
I can definitely relate to this, Chantel. It is sooo freeing to be able to conquer fears with Jesus’ help! To be an overcomer and not scared of changes. 🙂 But it is never easy.
I would love to win the book!
I fight with pride, and bitterness… keeping my attitudes right!
I fight with comparing myself to others.
I fight with consistency. I have the hardest time sticking with the things that I start that seem difficult.
i fight with not feeling adequate…
I am always fighting fear. Fear of the unknown,changes and lots of other things. I was just thinking about fear before I read this post!