On Fear

Fear is a strange thing to be writing about with two sweet children sitting on your lap. But it’s the very fact that I have these children that makes this subject a struggle for me. The thing I fear most is grief. I fear the way I would feel if something ever happened to them.

But I know I can’t let that fear eat at me all the time. One of my favorite quotes is from A.S. Roche:

Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”

These words encourage me to focus on something different when I start thinking down the “stream” of worry.

But it’s a challenge. And I don’t want to just keep running from the fear. As I was praying about it all one night, the Lord answered by showing me how grief is pain; then He reminded me of labor pains.

You see, both my son’s birth and my daughter’s birth were the same sort of pain. However, I dealt with their births very differently. For my son’s birth I was scared, and focused more on surviving than anything else. My mind was a wreck and my body followed suit. It took months to heal both physically and mentally.

My daughter’s birth was different. I had decided that I would focus on the Father instead of the hurt. Whenever I would catch myself fearing the pain, I would purposely turn my focus back to relying on God. As a result, my daughter’s birth was much easier. Technically it hurt just as badly, but somehow the hurt was much easier to bear. Healing was easier. I can’t describe how much better the experience was.

Every area of life has the potential for pain. But it’s become clear to me that how I deal with the pain affects its bite. Do I withdraw into myself and pull away from God? Or do I reach out towards Him in desperation? There’s not another option. Either I try to deal with it myself, or I rely on Him to deal with it for me.

While my son was being born, I relied on myself, and although I made it through, it was a struggle. However, with my daughter’s birth, I relied on God, and we conquered it together in half the time, literally.

To wholeheartedly rely on somebody, I have to trust them first. I know that the only way I can expect to conquer fear is by learning to trust Him. In truth, fear is just doubt disguised. When I doubt, I am not trusting, and therefore I don’t have faith.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)

My fear of grief is only an issue because somewhere deep inside my heart I doubt.

What do I doubt? His judgment? His promises? His love? Who He is?

It sounds like I need to look at my relationship with my Father again. Relationship can’t be based on what used to be, but on what is now. I can’t tell myself, “We were on good terms yesterday.” What matters is today. Today may be all I have. Today is when I need to trust.

“Cast all your care upon him; for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

I doubt....

7 Comments

  1. Something interesting about trust, is that it has to be a lifestyle to work. You can’t just purpose to trust God with the big things in your life, you have to build up your relationship with Him daily. Otherwise you’ll find yourself floundering when the big things hit because you’ve neglected your communication line and forgotten who He is. Your life has to revolve around your relationship with Him.
    Just my thoughts this morning… 🙂
    Much Love!

  2. Samantha R says:

    I’ve never been through childbirth but have been through other sorts of pain and hurt and can definitely see how much it helps to focus on the Father!

  3. Wonderful words of life! I hope you get contribute more blogs like this one!

  4. Having gone through something very difficult! It is very true I could have focused on the fear, but chose to focus on the Father. He was there, and saw me and my family through it all! He is Good!

  5. Today is when I need to trust.

    I think maybe I should embroider that on a pillow…

  6. Having a “focal point” during labor and childbirth helped me so much, so this illustration is very apt!

  7. Good Word – may we all learn to fully trust in the Father and, rather than denying our doubt, fall before Him and call out, “Lord, I believe…help my unbelief!”

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